Thirty Days Hath November

Well, I made it through another NaBloPoMo!
Blogging every day for the month of November with only a few bumps in the road. Will I keep it up through December? Not likely, but you never know. I don't know about you folks but I have a busy month ahead of me and I am, too put it delicately, not at my best in December. But maybe that will make for interesting posts.

Random Late Night/Early Morning Blathering

Hooooo boy am I up late! I haven't been up this late in a LONG time. I'm gonna be hurtin' later. I'm too old for this shit.

But we spent the evening with Taki & Jess watching the Bruins win in yet another fucking shootout and then we watched some really bad movies while stuffing our faces with chicken wings. Have I mentioned I hate shootouts?

Which movies? No Country For Old Men and I Am Legend. Both had their moments, but I wouldn't recommend either one of them. N.C.F.O.M. was okay and even had moments of brilliance up until the last 10 minutes or so. It's almost as if the Coen Bros. didn't know how to end it, which is typical of them.

Anyway I really need to go to bed. Really.

Black Friday! er, Saturday!

It's time for my annual round up of weird and wonderful gift items I have spotted on the web over the last year. Maybe this will help some of you with your holiday shopping, but more likely than not it will simply entertain. Enjoy!

For Cheapskates Like Me: Gifts Under $25

-Skull Phone
- Condiment Gun
- Anti-Theft Lunch Bags
- Bloody Evidence Chef's Knife
- Construction Utensils - Great for kids!
- Cool Jazz Ice Tray & Stirrers
- FAIL Stickers - Perfect stocking stuffer!
- Nesting Doll Measuring Cups
- Candy Cane Shot Glasses - Love peppermint? Gotta have these then!
- Holiday Cards
- Bombs Away Shot Glass
- Robot Coat Hooks
- Wine Glass Lampshades - Cool, but I can make these.
- My Document Laptop Pouch - I want one of these but my laptop is too big.
- Water Drop Plug
- Photoshop Magnet Set - WANT!
- Octopus Cuff Bracelet - How lovely would a matched pair of these be?
- Crayons
- Manly Pizza Cutter
- Royal Mail Mythical Creatures Stamps
- Shredsors
- Silver Playing Cards
- Hanging Harry Light Pull
- Murder Ink
- Screw Key - Another awesome stocking stuffer

Nice, But Not Too Nice: Gifts $25-$50

- Phrenology Head
- Lego Digital Camera
- Coffee Cup Power Inverter
- Wine Bottle Accesory Kit
- Bug Magnets
- Superheadz Deer Book Camera - I don't get it, but I suppose it's kind of neat.
- Ninja VS. Pirate Mobile - Simply awesome.
- Ice Cream Lamp
- Remote Control Tissue Box
- Banana Bud Vase
- Magnetic Spice Rack
- Hookmaker
- Handmade Head Lamp
- Naughty Words Cup & Saucer Set - Surprisingly Classy
- Polaroid Mirror
- Electronic Rock Guitar T-Shirt
- Game Controller Ornaments
- Lighter Branding Iron
- Porcelain Skull Ring
- Bird Coat Hanger

I'll Bring You Home To Meet Mother: Gifts $50 - $100

- White Rabbit Lamp
- Shoe Butter Dish - WTF?
- Monster Laptop Stand
- Ultrasound Cufflinks - Really? REALLY.
- Zombify Yourself
- Pigeon Lamp

You Like Me, you Really Like Me: Gifts Over $100

-Bird & Nest Ring - I love this ring! But I absolutely do not need any more rings.
- Bambi Lamp - Fun and cute but £99? Oh please...
- Coastline Ring - Another beautiful ring!
- Another Weird Camera
- Custom Photo Shower Curtain
- Simple, Sexy Mask
- Star Wars Trash Compactor Bookends
- Beautiful Woodsland Bracelet
- Dinosaur Necklace

Nothing Is Too Good For You Baby: Gifts Over $500

- Secret Door Installation - Who among you has not dreamt of this?
- GORGEOUS Canopy Bed
- Coolest Clock EVER
- STUNNING Cuff Bracelet

No Price Listed, but really cool:

- Illusion Table - I want one so bad!
- Spiderweb Bracket
- Kersplat Coffee Table - LOVE!
- Advent Sausage - MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!
- Lego Cookie Cutter
- Battleship Drinking Game - PUKE AND DIE.
- Flow Armchair
- Glassware
- All In One Card Stamp - Wish I had thought of this...
- Soundwave Bracelet
- Taxidermy Jewellery - Terrifying and gross... but it's all about the Guinea Pig Hair Comb.

I Love You Too Pooky.

This is too damn funny not to share. Sorry Joey, but this is comedy GOLD. GOLD I tell ya!


I just got off the phone with my brother Joey. I had called him to ask him if he wanted to participate in our "Don't buy us anything and we won't buy you anything" Christmas plans. When I called he answered the phone in a cute but garbled voice and I thought he said "something something ninja" when I think he was really saying "Hello there stranger" I mentioned he sounded like he just woke up, which of course he denied.

So I launch into my don't buy us anything spiel and he goes all cute but kind of stern with me, saying he only wants to buy one special gift just for me and using my full first name which no one ever calls me. And then he asked me what was wrong sounding very concerned. And then he called me "Pooky".

It's at this point in the story that I should mention that my full first name is Kristine and his girlfriends name is the same, but she spells it Christine. You see where this is going.

So I say "Wait a minute, which "Kristine" do you think I am?" and bust out laughing so hard I felt like I just did 100 sit ups. I laughed so hard I had to give the phone to Ron while I calmed myself down.

That totally made my day.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday You Sexy Thing!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Shoot This!

I hate it when hockey games end in shoot outs. Shoot outs SUCK. It always feels so cheap when we win that way.

Technical Difficulties...

Please pardon the lack of posts for the last three days... I have been having some technical difficulties, technically speaking. Ye see, it's technically technical when I forget to press the publish button and pressed the save button instead. But they are up now and technically this shouldn't happen again. Yeah.

What a Busy Weekend!

We helped friends move, went out to a fabulous steak dinner with yet more friends, cleaned the house, did a senior portrait session and did Food shooping with a trip to BJ's. PHEW! Busy but loads of fun! And we got stuff done. YAY! We finally cleaned the sick out of the house and we both feel much better for it. All I have to do before Thanksgiving is go buy fresh salad fixin's. Hopefully the store won't be too crazy.

In an attempt to get into the spirit of the holidays I give you Lucasfilm Christmas Cards. Yeah, it's a little early, but Turkey Day is approaching and that's when I usually try to get my cards started.

I hate Christmas.

Lucky Guy!

This guy is one lucky son of a bitch!

Last night after work I needed to go to The Container Store and while pulling onto the road between The Natick MALL and The Container Store I hit the mother of all potholes resulting in a nearly instant flat tire. We could hear it hissing as we got out and started to head towards the store.

And yeah, I know it's now called The Natick Collection but it's a fucking mall... get over it. Now, do you think I can bill them for my new tire?

And The Diagnosis Is.....

...Bronchitis! Step right up and collect your prize!

Yes folks the two of us officially have bronchitis. Isn't that romantic? But wait! there's more! Not only do you and the love of your life have the same air constricting ailment, but you win a matched set of Z pack antibiotics! SHWEET! Can I have a yeast infection with that?

And that's not all, oh no, because who needs a vacation after laying about off and on for at least the last week? Well of course you do, but no, you don't get to have one but that's okay, because you have also won a prescription for cough syrup with codeine! Unless you're the blushing bride, then you get NyQuil because apparently you are further along in your illness and don't get the hard stuff. But you can dose together and it will be like a second honeymoon! Without the sex! ROCK ON!

Yeah...

RIP Edward Woodward

I used to love this show.



Click on images for more info.

She's My Hero!

A classic, but it gets me every time!

A day late, wish I had seen this yesterday.

Loogeriffic!

Well, this nasty-bad bugger of a virus is still hangin' on, and on, and on... being sick sure is getting old. Ron's got it now... he's in the shower as I type this, coughing up a lung.

Speaking of which, I was in the shower the other day when I coughed up something so big I felt the need to name it. For some reason Bettina is the first name that popped into my head. It sounded suitably annoying and slightly bitchy to me at the time which is how I felt about the glob of goo that hit the shower floor with an audible splat. This my friends was the loogie to end all loogies. It was an arch loogie.

And it was the color of my kitchen countertops. That lovely shade of creamy, white-ish/beige-ish, 1983 formica that I really did not need to see come out of me. Actually it would have complimented our shower quite nicely and perhaps I should have salvaged it to use as caulk.

Perhaps I need to apologize for using the word creamy when describing my phlegm... I fear that may have been a tad over the top.

Feh.

Still sick... YAY.
Other than that I got nuthin' today.

Talk amongst yourselves.

Merry Veteran's Day!

It's that time of year again folks! Time to start planning for the most wonderful time of the year. (Can you smell the sarchasm there?) As you can see I am running a little behind schedule on this.

Yes folks, as usual, we will not be buying gifts for our over age 18 friends this holiday season and we ask that you all do the same for us. Just like last year, and the year before that.

We just want to try and see as many of you as possible this holiday season and keep things as simple and affordable as possible. The youngin's will still get a holiday surprise from us of course because who are we to ruin the illusion of Santa for the kiddo's? We'll leave that to you parents out there. Lifes gonna suck enough when they grow up and we don't want them whining to their therapists on our account.

If you are related to us you still make the gift giving list but if you want to participate in the don't buy us anything fun just give us a call. Thank you to the family members who have already called! Relatives who insist on buying us stuff, please don't go overboard! And keep it simple - gift cards to Home Depot and Lowes are always appreciated.

In case You Were Wondering...

Who's House? MUCUS' HOUSE!!!

I really hate being sick. And it's so damn inconvenient right now.


On the one hand, a bad day sick at home is often still better than a good day at work, but darnit, this nasty bugger of a virus/cold/cootiefest I've got going on right now is interferring with my life outside of work and I'm not liking it! What started out as a sore throat in the middle of last week has bloomed into something evil.

I did manage to get all of my errands done on Friday but I didn't get them done as early in the day as I had hoped. I slept in that morning in an attempt to fight of the evil empire of germs invading my body to no avail.

We were supposed to go out to dinner with friends but instead I passed out on the couch for the better part of three days. I have gone from being a part time couch potato to a full time couch lasagna... spread out all over the place covered in blankets and phlegm coated kleenex that resembles cheese.

I was hoping to get so much work done this weekend... cleaning, working on photos, sending out contracts, wrapping up Bar Mitzvah stuff, laundry... but no, I did SQUAT. NADA. ZIP. ZILCH. ZERO.

And now I have to spend the rest of the week playing catch up with my life. And really, I shouldn't be complaining... but I can't help it. I don't feel well and I feel like being a whiney, cranky bitch. Sinus pressure and mucus bring out the worst in me.

Photo Round Up!

I'm catching up on photos... this batch is from Maija's Birthday Party in August. Some are marked private because the girls are wearing bathing suits and I'm paranoid. If you'd like to see them you'll need to log into Flickr and be on my friend list or ask me for a guest pass.

It's been a hell of a week. What is it about November that invites bad news? It's as if the gods need to take one last effort to drop turds on peoples heads before the holiday season starts.

Earlier this week was a doozy and I'm not going to talk about it here. You know who you are and you know we are thinking about ye.

Yesterday a madman went berserk at Fort Hood and killed at least 13 people and wounded about 30 others. My step-sister lives less then a mile from there and thankfully does not work there anymore... they are all fine and hopefully they don't know anyone who was hurt yesterday. It's the biggest military institution in the world, full of trained military personnel. Granted, they don't walk around armed, but if something like that can happen there, it can happen anywhere.

And now THIS.
Sadly, I know this guy. Not well, thankfully, and I only see him once a year or so. He's the cousin of a friend and he has ALOT of problems. And, yes, he's a bit of a douchebag. All I can think of is what if had tried to break into my friends house instead of his former apartment, which is about a half a mile away?

We know alot of people going through hard times right now. Financial, medical, emotional, legal, custodial... even teenaged children running off. Many of our friends have lost jobs and had life changing events thrust upon them. We consider ourselves very, very lucky those turds have not fallen on our heads, at least the big ones anyway.

Sometimes I wonder if the gods are aiming for us and keep missing. I wonder when the big one is coming for us and when our luck is going to run dry. In the meantime all we can do is try to be there for everyone else and help out when we can. That's what friends do. Sometimes we feel helpless and ineffective, but sometimes just being there to listen is enough.

So if you haven't any turds flung your way, or they have been smallish ones, go hug a loved one, knock on wood, or thank the god of your choice. Then go make sure someone else knows you are there for them.



Update: Okay, that was deep and kind of depressing... I'll return to posting silly YouTube crap tomorrow. I promise.


Comments have been disabled on this one so don't even try. I don't want anyone inadvertently dropping anyones names on this one.

Okay, it's Official Now.

I am officially participating in National Blog Posting Month again this year. Because I am a glutton for punishment. I knew I was going to do this I just didn't get off my ass and announce it. It's been a weird couple of weeks, and not in a good way.

Paid to Poop?

Just how much are you getting paid to literally give a shit? Find out HERE.

That SUCKS.

Halloween Photo Round Up!

If you haven't seen the photos from Halloween yet, I was Max from the book "Where The Wild Things Are". It was unseasonably warm and I was wearing head to toe polar fleece. What the fuck was I thinking?

Click on thumbnails to view more!

Happy Halloween!

Ahh... there's nothing like leftover Halloween candy for breakfast on a lazy Sunday morning. Add an extra hour of sleep and all is right with the world.