ZZZzzzz.....

We got a lot done on the new house this weekend! I won't go into it now 'cause I'm freakin' exhausted, but we've been BUSY! The master bedroom is move in ready!

NOT FOR THE SQUEEMISH!!!

You have been warned...

The site below is the strangest thing I've ever heard of... kind of disgusting too. I'm bettin' it's fake. Click only if you have an empty and iron stomach.

Tattoo's on Your Heart

I really, sincerely hope this is fake.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thankful I am not this gal. She is either the best actress I have ever seen or she has some SERIOUS problems. Seriously.



And then feast your eyes on this VERY disturbing clip. Martha Stewart is all kinds of fucked up, but this takes the cake... or baby filled pie.

Man Blowing a Raspberry

No, not blowing like that you filthy piglets! But this is still not right...

Pain has been my constant companion this past week... it got to the point that It took about 10 minutes to get out of bed on Saturday so I called out of work, took a pill and passed out for another 5 hours.

Ron got me some stick on capsaicin heat back stick ons and they are working a small miracle... they really take the edge off the back pain. Personally I think they overide the back pain with the burning sensation they cause. I fear that if I wear them too many days in a row I will be left with a nice little chemical burn, but hey, they are working for now so I will continue to use them. Taking them off is like pulling off a big-ass, super-sticky band-aid. Can you say ouch? Needless to say I now have no hair on my lower back.

Well, despite having a sucktastic week and being in pain we got quite a bit done this week. We have ordered a dishwasher, bought all our closet fixin's, painted second coats on most of the bedroom... one more coat on one more wall and that's done! Ron installed a light fixture and no one got electrocuted! Alexi helped Ron start assembling the closet fixtures. When this is all done those two will have earned their IKEA merit bagdes. We even got the bulk of our holiday shopping done and have chosen our next paint color!


UPDATE: Do not, for the love of god, get those back pain stickums wet. We had heard from a reliable source that soaking them with a facecloth makes them easier to remove. WRONG-O! Not only does it seem to make the adhesive stickier, but it separates the paper backing from the adhesive. This makes it so you cannot do the rip it off fast like a band-aid manuever... you have to pick off each little sticky bit pulling skin and hair with it. And if you use water that's even the teensiest bit warm it increases the burning sensation. So please, if you use these, do not get them wet, do not feed them after midnight. Rip them off in one quick motion. Trust me.

Accidentally Shot In The Face?

Part of my job is looking up obituaries for people doing genealogical research. Occasioanally something catches my eye and sticks in my head... sometimes I am compelled to print it and share it with folks. This latest find is from a 1904 edition of the South Framingham Daily News.



Pay close attention to this little tidbit:



Accidentally shot in the face? By some unknown person? How can these injuries not be serious? And with medicine being what it was in 1904 too! I sure as heck would want to know who accidentally shot me in the face! I might even sue their ass!

This to me is proof that 100+ years ago was a gentler, kinder era... Oh, someone shot me in the face... oh well, 'tis but a scratch, shan't bother me at all... no sirree... Well, I am sure whoever did it is aware of their error and is gosh darn sorry about it all and shan't do it again.

I'm bettin' it was Dick Cheney.

NSFW!!!!!
You have been warned...

Man finds out what a Brazilian bikini wax is like... and he most certainly does NOT LIKE.

I love this!

I know I've shown this guys stuff before, but I still think it's neat.

A Pit Stop?

Today was a bad day... I feel like total crap and my back is killing me. I want to curl up in bed with a blankie and pass out. However, something funny came out of my misery today and I am here to share it with you.

I forgot to put deodorant on this morning. I suffer from this occasional lapse in hygiene often enough that I keep an emergency pit-stick in the drawer of my desk at work.

My desk faces a large plate glass window in a public building.

You see where this is going, don't you?

Well, I looked around, saw no one, crouched over the open drawer to quickly and discreetly apply the pit-stick, a simple under the shirt maneuver. When I looked up there was an ESL tour group looking at me through the office window.

I just smiled and went back to work, happy I hadn't picked my nose or fixed my bra.

Awesome Hockey Replay

http://view.break.com/593947 - Watch more free videos

Whisky Sour Punch

I can't wait to have a party in my new place so I can make THIS. Sounds yummy! Thanks for sharing it!

Back to work my friends! We won't be able to get to the new place for a couple of days, but that should give ample time for paint to dry. I don't really want to go to work today... as sore as I am, I'd rather be painting.

Hoorah! We got the first coat of paint done in the master bedroom, master bath and the walk in closet! Only a whole bunch of rooms and coats of paint to go!

We spent more time in Home Depot than normal people should... and spent more money there in one trip than I ever have before in my life.

It's raining.
That's all I got for ya today... I'm gonna see most of ye in an hour or so, unless you are one of those far flung friends or random strangers who finds my blathering entertaining.

It's raining, and the rain is good.

Click HERE to see a badass Lego Alien model.

Oooh! Baby!
Ron was stripping all over the new house tonight!

Alright, get your minds out of the gutter... he was stripping paint.

Dirty, naughty paint.

Hooo boy am I tired!
We have selected a dishwasher and a store to order it from... however we can't get back to the store to order it until this weekend.

We have made progress in the paint color choices as well... not all colors are chosen yet, but enough are that we should be able to start painting as soon as the walls are prepped and taped. Now, who wants to help paint?

Time To Play Bible or Thre Bard!

I got 30% correct... How dost thou fair?

Adventures in Home Ownership

I have spent the better part of the last three days cleaning my new kitchen and it's still not done... I have about 3 cupboards left to go. There is a surprising amount of filth in what, at a glance, looks like a fairly clean kitchen.

I have a theory that was confirmed by Alexi's mom this evening as well... my current kitchen may be disgustingly filthy but at least it's MY dirt. I am okay with my own filth. I have twelve years of living to remove when we make the final leap to our new digs. I like to think I am a fairly clean person, but like I said, there is a surprising amount of crud to be found whether you know it is there or not.

Our new kitchen has been one little surprise after another... nothing disastrous, but I found broken lightbulb glass, a few water damaged drawers, and syrupy stickyness where I did not expect it. There is a child saftey locking doohickey on the stove that I find difficult to unlock so that will be coming off and I found a pretzel that look unmolested by rodents, which I take as a good sign.

Ron and Alexi tackled the fridge, Goddess bless them! They even found a piece of meat in it, but it is now like new! And bonus! I found the tray under the stove was full of baking pans. Some of them are even worth keeping!

CAN'T SLEEP, CLOWNS WILL EAT ME!

Kick-Ass Kids Costume

Guess What We Did Today!

I'm gonna keep this short because, gosh darn it, I'm tired.

Today we bought a house!

Really.

Okay, it's a condo, not a house, but we intend on living in it, so it's a house to us, so there, NAH-NAH!

I have hinted that something big was coming and this is it! Let the cleaning, painting and moving commence! I will be sending out a formal moving announcement via email when we are closer to being settled in. If anyone wants to stop by and see the place before I let y'all know the address drop us a line or call us and we'll tell you where it is.

All offers to help clean, paint, or move will be rewarded with hugs, pizza and beer.


Did someone say photos?

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Angry Little Bitch's Big-Ass Holiday Shopping Guide!

It's that time of year again and while we are trimming down our holiday shopping dramatically this year that doesn't mean I haven't been window shopping. Every year I bookmark a bunch of kick-as stuff for your perusal and post is all at once just in time for the silly season.

Anyone who wants to joins us in our "don't buy us anything and we won't buy you anything plan" is welcome to do so but anyone who is related to us and insists on buying us stuff, well, this list is a fun place to start. I can't speak for Ron, but I'd be more than happy to recieve about 90% of the things on this list. Gift cards t Target, Home Depot and Lowes are acceptable as well.

But enough about us... I am here to help YOU! Here is my Big-Ass Holiday Shopping Guide for 2008. Enjoy!


For Cheapskates like me: (Gifts Under $25)

- Anatomical T-Shirts
- Heavy Metal Funtime Activity Book
- Tattoo Band-Aids
- Baking is Gay Dish Towel
- Angel Wings T-Shirt
- Bathtub Handle for Naughty Showers (maybe NSFW?)
- Bacon Flavored Floss (You can't go wrong with bacon!)
- Bone Chillers Ice Cube Tray
- Toy Soldiers Egg Cup
- Desk Top Butt Station
- Darth Vader Watch
- DRD Plush Toy
- Dreade of Death Bookplates
- Uterus Undies
- Thought Bubble Barrettes
- Handsoap (a little creepy...)
- Frozen Smiles
- Crime Scene Scarf
- Glass of Milk Light
- Pranks! (gifts that may get you in trouble...)
- Heart T-Shirt (Plus sized girlie style!)
- Glow-in-the-dark Flesh Eating Zombie Playset
- Hearts & Skulls Headband
- Sushi Soap
- Princess Ice Cube Tray
- Bullet Ice Cube Tray (BADASS!)
- R2-D2 Soy Sauce Bottle
- Alphabet Ice Cube Trays
- Another SHWEET Plus Sized T-Shirt
- Kronn Stikko
- Stikko Sub
- Stagg Toilet Stikko (watch for deer heads for all budgets!)
- Stainless & Rubber Bottle Opener (very classy looking)
- Vintage Tumblers
- Camera Icons T-Shirt
- Button Tattoos
- Psycho Shower Curtain
- Nose Shower Gel Dispenser
- Comic Strip Bandages
- Pixel Message Tape
- Digital Message Tape
- Skel-O-Mingos!
- Skull Hand Towel
- Stuck Up Magnet Set
- Bright Booklet Set
- Word Tattoos
- Funny Doormat
- Tic-Tac-Toast
- Teddy Bear USB Drive
- Henry Desktop Vacuum
- You Wash, I'll Dry Towel


I really like you , but perhaps not in that way: (Gifts $25 - $50)

- Aroha Silhouettes Jewelry
- Mounted Cardboard Deer Head
- Little Capers T-Shirts (for kids! with detachable shiny capes!)
- Tie Lab (best ties EVAH!)
- Black Bull Shot Glass
- Cut-Out Screen Panel Set
- Fluffel Monster - Squeeby the Squid
- Japanese Pinhole Camera
- Glass Heart & Crossbones Necklace
- Heart and Swallow Business Card Holder
- Heart and Dagger Business Card Holder
- Flyberry Bookshelf
- Zombie Attack Wall Art Vinyl Decal
- Bubble Bath Mat
- Mortimer Bust Candle
- Sake Set
- Bobba Fett Flash Drive
- Tootsie Roll Cologne Spray
- Magnetic Flower Vases
- Monster Hoodies
- R2-D2 Projection Alarm Clock
- Personalized Romance Novel
- Secret Agent Tampon Case
- Skull Bath Towel
- Skull Pillowcase Set
- Sparrow's Hoodie
- R2-D2 Peppermill (R2 shits pepper!)
- My Life Story Diary
- Monty Python Talking Black Knight Doll
- Terrorist Teapot
- Light Up T-Shirts (just don't wear them to the airport, ok?)
- Skull Ties
- Wedding Ring Coffin
- Skeleton Serving Set
- WiFi Detecting T-Shirt!
- Mexican Wrestler Hoodie
- Hoodie with Beer Bottle Pocket


Trying to make an impression? (Gifts $50 - $100)

- Portrait Landscape Sketchbook
- Silver Skull Ring
- Creepy Looking Accessories with Babies on them
- Chocolates! (most over $50, but some bargains to be found)
- The Ex Voodoo Knife Set (a classic, and I really want one)
- Personalized Wall Clock (with your photo!)
- Anywhere Telescoping Paneling System
- Bendant Hanging Lamp
- Bestow Vase/Candle Holder
- Camera Pillows
- Handcrafted Ceramic Rings
- Cardboard Rocket Play House
- Peanut Butter Machine
- Hollow Spy Coins
- Sushi Pillow
- Zombie of Montclaire Moors Sculpture
- R2-D2 Trash Can (I could do a post of just R2-D2 stuff!)
- Rigor Morty & The Dirt Nappers Tiki Mug Set
- Shiny Things for Pretty Girls
- Washi Choker


For those with deeper wallets: (Gifts over $100)

- Harry Potter Books Boxed Set
- Glowing Tooth Lamp
- Dr. Riter's ErgoChair (Okay, this is just weird looking...)
- Eco Media Player (wind up MP3 player)
- USB Skull Ring
- Homestar Optical System (gome planetarium! "cause you can't see the stars from your backyard anymore...)
- Aluminum Wall Stag
- Illusion Table
- Kyoto Messenger Bag
- Charging Station (frankly, I can make this with Tuperware... but neat idea)
- Magazine Table
- Highway Bag
- Block Lamp
- Stackable Stool
- Pantone Coffee Mugs & Tote Bags
- Your Very Own Stripper Pole


The sky's the limit! ($$$$$$$$$)

- Dead Fred Zombie Chaser
- The Damned Lamp
- Woofer Speaker System
- Noble Stag Wood Carving
- Lightboxes
- R2-D2 Video Projector
- Tattooed Chair
- Cool Star Wars Stuff (variety of prices)
- Tetris Tiles
- The Orators Briefcase
- 2007 Phantom Roadster Hauntrod


- Pool Cue Ring (sold out, but really damn cool... worth a looksee!)

Don't Forget To VOTE Tomorrow

I'm not going to tell you who to vote for, but I, and all folks who work for state/town would appreciate it if you voted NO on question 1. For more info click the link to the right on the sidebar.

Also, it would be nice to decriminalize pot too. More info on Question 2 can be found HERE. As for Question 3... here are arguments for and against it.

For more info in general on voting click HERE.

I tried to post the above treat last week but it was removed... but thanks to the inter-tubes it has been found again. Enjoy!

More reasons to Vote NO on Question 1

Here is a very well written article on why you should vote NO on Question 1 tomorrow. The hospital's name has been removed in the event they have a problem with folks reposting this. I couldn't have said this better myself.

With the upcoming election on Tuesday, many of you have asked about the hospital's position on Ballot Question 1, which would repeal the state income tax. We believe that passage of this question would have a devastating effect on this hospital and the children and families we serve.

While we appreciate that voting is, and should be, a very private matter, we do want to take the opportunity to provide some information and to urge you to vote "No" on this question. We have a strong personal and institutional ethic of shared work and shared responsibility, and believe that state government can make a difference in the lives of children.

We have the lowest uninsured rate, the highest childhood immunization rate, and some of the best school performance results in the country. We should not lose sight of all the good things state government can accomplish for its youngest residents.

Question would eliminate approximately $12 billion dollars in revenue from the state budget. Overall state spending is approximately $31.8 billion. This cut would amount to 40 percent of overall spending. About 1/3 of all state budget expenditures are for health care programs, including MassHealth, SCHIP and uncompensated care. Nearly 30 percent of our patients rely on these programs for their health care coverage.

Passage of this ballot question would require dramatic cuts in coverage, services and provider rates. These cuts would be in addition to, and in fact would dwarf, the very significant budget cuts already announced by the Governor. School funding would be terribly impacted by passage of this legislation. We strongly believe that educational success is an absolute precursor for life success for all the children of the Commonwealth. School funding is one of the major components of the state budget and accounts for approximately $4.3 billion of total spending.

Many of our most vulnerable patients depend upon a wide range of human services programs, from the Department of Mental Health, the Department of Children and Families (formerly DSS), the Department of Mental Retardation and the Department of Public Health. These programs range from financial support, to WIC, to the Early Intervention program. These services are essential to children and would be devastated by passage of this ballot question. As a reminder, (our institution is) a non-profit organization.

We (and you) are prohibited from officially endorsing candidates for office. However, there is no similar prohibition on taking advocacy positions on issues that affect children; in fact, we believe this to be a critical part of our mission.

Additional resources: The actual ballot question, as well as official information from proponents and opponents is available at the Secretary of State's Web site. Excellent analysis on the economic impacts, where state spending goes and the likely magnitude of cuts is available from the Massachusetts Taxpayers Foundation.

Thank you for taking the time to consider this important issue.

Here's some weird spookiness in honor of The Day of The Dead: Parking Lot Cemeteries

The HORROR!

What the hell is THIS? There is no reason for this travesty. When are people going to learn that plastic shoes are BAD? They are ugly and make your feet sweat. Plastic shoes are for people in prison. Doesn't anyone remember the horror that was Jellie's? *shudders* Croc's are the jellie's of the new millenium.

Turning shitty plastic shoes into winter boots is not a good idea people! And these are just hideous. Is that crusted up barf along the ankles and cuff's supposed to be fur trim? YUCK! Ugg's were bad enough, but at least they are real footwear that someone thought would be fashionable to wear in Los Angeles... in July. And Ugg's have the added bonus of hiding your cankles... but they are BUTT UGGLY.

Now I'm not saying that your shoes must be made out of a dead animal, but how is wearing a hunk of plastic on your feet better? At least leather let's your feet breathe. If they are going ot make these damn plastic shoes at least some effort should be made in making them look better. I am afraid nothing can be done about the sweat factor.

Now please excuse me... I'll be standing inthe corner in my Doc Martin's.