Whodathunkit?

Oh yeah... I almost forgot... I have a new uncle.
My aunt and her "boyfriend" of 30+ years FINALLY got married Monday evening. Frankly, I was STUNNED when I heard the news. I never thought the day would come. I am sure it's a sign of the apocalypse. It was a secret until yesterday... my mom was sworn to secrecy until the deed was done. I suppose this means I have to be nice to him now.

LINK DUMP!

Once again I am cleaning out the weird links folder. Anything red is not safe for work. Enjoy!

- Extreme Hammock, or how well hung is this guy?
- First Photo From Space
- Audiotape Nostalgia
- Giant Squid Plush Pillow - of course, I want one!
- Cthulhu and Christ
- Self Cloning?
- Star Wars Costumes
- It may not be a crime, but it's disgusting
- Thumbprint Art
- This would freak the shit out of me
- Photos from Chernobyl
- Lego, meet LED light, LED Light, meet Lego - too damn cool!
- Funny Cat Jump
- Gameboy Around The World
- Cool Space Photos
- This has no purpsoe, but it's neat
- Honey, have you seen my gloves?
- Make My People SING! - Very cute
- Masterbate for Peace
- Funny Wedding Bloopers
- This is stupid. Extremely stupid. - Quite possibly the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.
- Shopping Cart Art
- One Red Paperclip - Dude trades paperclip for a house
- Pronto Condoms - Watch the how to film!
- Evolution of Desktops
- Sculpture by The Sea
- Soap in the Microwave - Because you really want to know what hapen's, don't you?
- Souvenirs
- These crack me up every time I see them
- Ass-kicking Time Lapse Photography
- Watch out Redbull, there's a new drink in town
- House of Beer Cans, or How not to impress the ladies
- Talent Booking - Want to have your favorite band play your gig? Here's how much it will cost.
- Lego FLAMETHROWER? - More Lego Coolness
- Condom Plant Video - I think this is pretty tame, use your judgment at work
- TXTual Healing
- Unusual Hotels
- Love Thy Neighbor
- Random Spock Quote Generator
- The Boston Typewriter Orchestra
- My Little Cthulhu
- Pixelnotes - I think this is really neat.
- Poor Santa
- When Co-workers Attack - Watch the other guys in the room the second time
- Happy Bun-O-Ween!
- Reverse Graffiti
- Awful Star Wars Collectables - BAD, BAD, BAD...
- For Those Who Don't "Cum in Peace"
- Got Bilk? Y-U-C-K!
- Exercise with Friends
- Star Wars Origami - I don't know if I would call that origami... more like crumpled paper
- Mohawk of The Year
- Home Decor Boldly Goes Where... well, you know how it goes
- Things You Did Not Know About Sleep
- Things Said In Restaurants
- Extreme Google Maps - Very Clever!

Notes from The Oscars!

Ah, The Oscars...
Yet another fantastic event in the masturbatory, self congratulation that is the entertainment industry. As much as it sickens me I find myself fascinated and watch the damn thing almost every year. We watched it at Cal & Kara's house with Kara's brother and an old friend we haven't seen in a long time, Dean. I didn't know that Cal knew Dean, but then I shouldn't be surprised because it is well established just how damn small my world is.

Out of 24 categories I got 8 correct, which is pretty dam good considering the only movies I saw in the theatre last year were The Prestige, Jet Li's Fearless and That new Pirate flick everyone was talking about for so long. If you haven't seen The Prestige go rent it... it was quite good.

During the pre-show I had the assistance of 5 year old Josie and 7 year old Gwen to help me critique a few of the gowns. Here are some of their remarks:

- Neither girl thinks Leonardo DiCaprio is cute. I must agree.
- 5 and 7 year olds agree, Emily Blunt looks pretty in blue. Sadly, I have no idea who she is.
- Josie LOVED Penelope Cruz's dress. I think your attire should NOT match your skin tone.
- They also agreed on Jada Pinkett Smiths orange number because orange is nice.
- Cameron Diaz's dress gets a mere "Good" from Josie. I think she looks like she's wearing an envelope. Gwen agrees.
- Cate Blanchett's dress gets a good as well because it has sparkles.
- Gwen says Kate Winslet's dress is a nice color but Josie doesn't like it. I believe that color is the bane of many a bridesmaid. Gwen also thinks she looks like me. I'm flattered, but I don't think so. I'm usually compared to Nicole Kidman, which I also think is a LONG SHOT, and who seems to be wasting away before our very eyes.
- Both girls LOVE Helen Mirren's dress with an enthusiasm only girls that young can have. It has "good sparkles". When asked how old they think she is Josie say's "15!" and I tell Gwen that "I am almost 35 and Helen is older than me so how old do you think she is?" Gwen says "32!" Thanks kid.

In other notes I had no idea Ellen DeGeneres was hosting. NONE. I don't know how I missed that bit of news. Here I thought I was well informed on the ins and outs of pop culture and I totally missed that one. Dean said she looks like she's wearing Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka costume.

We all marvelled at the fact that Randy Newman isn't dead yet. Is it me or does he seem to write the same song again and again? Ron said that Melissa Etheridge looks like she stole Cobra Commanders coat.

Jennifer Hudson was originally wearing something more costume-like because Ron said that "she looked like she was from Flash Gordon." and Dean responded "Yeah, she's Bling the Merciless!" I didn't know she was an American Idol reject... again I thought I was well versed in these matters, but then I don't watch that piece of shit show. From reject to Oscar winner... Way to go! Now take that Oscar and shove it up Simon's ass!

Gwyneth Paltrow always looks bad. ALWAYS. This year she looks as though something is radiating from her navel. I can only sit and stare at the radiating navel as though hypnotized. Gwyneth, you are my master... you are beautiful, I love you Gwyneth... oh, wait, where was I? *shudders* Someone ought to tell everyone in Hollywood that unless you are a drag queen, feathers are a bad idea.

And what is up with Phillip Seymour Hoffman's hair? Didn't his mother teach him anything? Like when there is a billion+ people watching you perhaps you should comb your damn hair? YUCK. He's icky in so many ways and that just took the ick factor up a few notches.

Overall there were no real surprises... I knew Helen Mirren was going to win and that Kate Winslet would not despite her 4 previous nominations. Patience my dear, your day is coming and will be sweeter for the wait. It's good to see Martin Scorsese finally win one though... maybe now he can retire. Or die. I called Forest Whitaker too, though I didn't think he stood a chance against Peter O'Toole. I figured O'Toole would have gotten the old-guy sympathy vote, but I am very glad it was Forest Whitaker. I wonder if he and Helen Mirren's had any Caligula reminscing at the after party? I wish Pans Labyrinth won best foreign language film, but it did not. What a beautiful movie.

Alright, so I had some technical difficulties last night... but I do have some Oscar notes to share with y'all, and I'll post them later. Now I have to eat, shower, and get my ass to work.

Please add yourself!

Coochie Snorcher

Went to see The Vagina Monologues with Carrie, Carol and Carla at Framingham State College last night. We ate at 400 Plus before going. 400 Plus used to named The 400 club years ago and it closed. It used to be the place to go for cheap pizza drinking at a tender age. They have recently reopened the place and added a little class. I had the chicken picata and it was quite tasty, and I would go back anytime.

I learned a new word for vagina last night and that word is coochie snorcher.

We will be watching The Oscars with friends this evening and I plan on blogging through them again. If there are any technical difficulties I will hand-write notes and blog them tomorrow morning. I stole the idea for this from this guy I know and he does a much better job of it than I do. I also helps that he has probably actually seen some of the films, of which I have not. Not a one. Okay, wait, I did see Pan's Labyrinth which was WONDERFULL, but I have not been a regular at a movie theatre in a long time. Not much worth seeing these days I guess. I can't wait for THIS though.

I broke Flickr

Yes, yes.... because I know the world revolves around little old me that the first time I try to upload pictures to Flickr in about a month I have problem after problem and now the site appears to be down. I know this is all my fault. It must be.

Because it's all about me.

It seems to be fixed now... maybe it wasn't all my fault. Yeah, sure...

Makin' his Momma proud

Here's a winner for you folks!

I crashed, but in a good way!

Wow... I was pretty shattered last night. I haven't been that drunk in a long time... I can't even remember the last time. I had never been to this bar before and they make their drinks STRONG. And it's not like I drank more than I have in the past... my hard won tolerance for liqour is leaving me in my old age I guess.

I did have a rather shitty day on Tuesday and I have always said liquor makes a great cramp cure! I feel much better now! I was asleep before 10 last night and woke up a little after 8:30 this morning... best sleep I've had in a while! Now to get through work today without crying, quiting or hurting someone and all will be well.

Whern did I become suhc a cheap date again:?

Yesterady sucked bigtime. It was wuite poosibly the worsrt day I've had at work in a long time. I wreaally wanted to quit rifhgt then and there. Throw in a does of motnhly hormones and I was pretty much a wreck.

Tonight I met Ron in Boston for drinks with some of his co=qrkers at a new bar adn I think I may have had one too many drinks. That and the fact that I have been easing up on the drinking lately and I bel;ieve I have lost my tolerance for it. Ron drove home and maybe I sdhould go to bed now. Goosd thing I don't have to be at work until 1pm tommmorrow.

yeah.

Here's a chuckle for ya

Well, this just cook's my noodle

This is a pretty cool looking skull, yes? Too bad it is made up entirely of stolen images.

The creator says "Taking my own photos would have been easy but I thought it would be interesting looking for the perfect picture made by somebody else, with a completely different goal."

Easy, eh? Then why don't you try it then.

He (or she) goes on to say "With the huge development of media-sharing sites as Flickr, YouTube and Blogs nowadays anybody can enter the life of a stranger, copy their pictures, their movies and their ideas and make them his own."

Um, that my friend is called stealing, and that makes you a thief. Not an artist, not "cool" but a thief.

Just because someone puts their work out into the world it doesn't mean it's there for you to mess with. At the very least you should credit each and every photographer you stole those pictures from. Or better yet, ask the photographer for PERMISSION. I bet most would have said yes. Just because the photo's are available permission to use them is NOT implied. Ever heard of copyright, asshole?

I don't care if you changed the pictures so they are almost unrecognizable, you are nothing but a thief. Flickr is NOT an image buffet for you to conme and help yourself too when you don't want to take your own damn photos.

Read his full article HERE and decide for yourself if this guy is a thief.

Wanna see Penn Jillette's house? Go HERE.
This is cool, but who the hell wants to live in Nevada?

Happy Belated Birthday Alexi!

Happy New Year!

Welcome to The Year of The Pig!

Also known as year of the Boar. People born in the Year of The Pig are considered happy and Honest. Want to know more about this auspisios year? Go HERE or HERE.

Want to know more about Chinese New Year? Go HERE.

Funny Blog to Watch

Brilliant! Someone started a blog showcasing illustrations inspired by Spam Subject Headers. I have often thought about incorporating them into poetry, but I don't actually write poetry. Believe me, that's a good thing.

Go see it HERE.

Random Sleepyhead Blathering

Ahhh... yesterday was a nice surprise. I like snow days. I got so much done yesterday! I think evry stitch of fabric in the house is clean, folded and put away! I learned a few new photoshop things yesterday and worked on photos off and on all day long. I washed dishes, helped shovel the driveway being careful of my back while Ron's dad was careful with his knee, I swept up a few of those feral merkins and finished reading a library book. Then I made dinner and relaxed.

This morning I frittered away my time sleeping. I seem to get very tired these days and I don't know why. It's not like I did alot of physical stuff yesterday... I would work on laundry then sit on my ass in fron of the computer for a half an hour, then get up and do something... back and forth all day. I shouldn't be this tired. It's not just yesterday either, it's more of a lack of endurance thing. I can be awake and extemely productive, then the next day I crash bigtime. So I let myself sleep in when I can and I try to listen to my body and sleep when it tells me to sleep. Of course it has just occured to me that I have been cutting down on the sugar and the caffeine... could that be why I'm so tired? I thought that was supposed to make you feel BETTER.

Happy Valentine's Day!

I watched the whole thing... it burns! It burns!

The Gods have spoken!

Can I get a Halla-loo?
I have a snow day! For once someone in that great big bowling alley in the sky is listening to me! Dear Goddess, while I have your ear might I inquire about those lottery tickets I keep purchasing?

Woo-hoo! I am awake before 8am, showered and about to get dressed... I am ready to get something accomplished today! Combine this with my upcoming 4 day weekend and there is nothing I can't do! I even ate something already, which in the morning is unusual for me, but I try to eat on snowy days just in case I get stuck on the road for hours... don't want to get hungry, y'know?

Now let's turn on some lights and chase some dust bunnies... or as Ron likes to call them, feral merkins.

Yes Virgina, It really is snowing

Dear Goddess, Allah, Buddha, Bubba or Krishna,
I promise that if tomorrow is a snow day I will use the gift of time bestowed upon me to catch up on projects, balance the checkbook, do laundry, clean the house and cook a healthy dinner.
Amen.

Yes folks, the first snowstorm of the season is upon us... On Valentine's Day? Not that I'm complaining, but we New Englanders are used to having much more snow to contend with and to have our first major snowstorm of the season in the middle of February is just, well, weird.

And of course I am glad I don't live HERE.

BAD NEWS

Well, now for some bad news. My step-sister Melissa is going to Iraq. We knew she was getting deployed and that she would end up in either Kuwait or Afghanistan, but nope, she's heading to Iraq and she leaves on the 20th. Her husband got back from there just before Christmas and now she's off. YUCK.

While we are not terribly close I do worry about her. She has a little one at home and hasn't had much time to spend with her husband since returning from his deployment. I wish she was going to Kuwait, which apparently is the cushiest of the the three places. Here's hoping she comes back quickly and safely.

My mom, who has never flown before, is going down to Texas to see her off. I never in a million years ever thought I would see my mother get on a plane. She is taking my brother Anthony with her, who has also never flown, but that's because he's young and hasn't had the need to fly anywhere yet. My mom is not as young has sworn to never fly. She's going down to see her off on the 18th.

Accident caused by the amount of shit in car? What are the odds? Full story HERE.

Good News!

Go HERE!
Way to go Boo!

New Photos are up!

Very Clever Guinness Ad

A Pretty Good Day

Today was a busy but delightful and sometimes odd day.

I had my first portrait session with lights and gizmo's . Sadly, the gizmo's did not cooperate fully, but I think we got some great stuff. I was taking picture's of THIS GUY and I will post the best ones shortly so stay tuned!

Afterwards I raced to school, returned said gizmo's, then picked up Ron and attended a lovely and swanky Valentine's Day Party in Brookline. It was originally supposed to be a Christmas party, but suddenly it was February and voila! You get Valentine's Day Party! Pretty neat idea actually... might be a good alternative to the holiday madness and a damn funny tradition to begin, or perhaps some other obscure mass-marketing created fake holiday? Ground Hog Day Party?

And you should probably read THIS to find out why the squirrell post below is so damn funny right now. Icky! Icky! Icky!

So wrong in so many ways...

WARNING: Not for squeemish, squirrell lovin' folk.

Kiss me, I'm dead.

Yes, it's true Anna Nicole Smith is dead.
And can I say now, for the record... I think it's a conspiracy... first her son, now her. If that baby girl of hers lives out the year it will be a miracle.

Also, I seem to recall Stan once had a poster of her over his trash can years ago... and saying "When you think of trash, think of me" about it. Her life was like a bad soup opera... bad as in this tale will likely NEVER end.

Yes, It's True...

... I am still terrific.
Who even says that anymore?

Be there, or be square!

More info can be found HERE.

Post Number 666!

Welcome to post #666.
In case you missed them, here are some Superbowl Ad's for you to watch.

- Garmin
- Bud Light
- CareerBuilder.com
- Nationwide Annuities
and my favorite: Emerald Nuts

switching

Well, Flickr is now going to require a Yahoo! ID to log into my Flickr account as of March 15th. Rather than wait until the last minute I decided to do it now... here's hoping it will be less painful the the Blogger/Google switch over. I am getting fucking tired of companies buying each other and insisting you switch to the "new and improved" versions that usually end up sucking. Flickr is one of the coolest sites out there and I would hate to get pissed off at it.

Now if only Blogger would support Safari so I could blog from bed on my laptop, though I haven't checked on that lately... which reminds me... switching to the Mac hasn't been painless either. Blast all this new technology! Not that I'm complainin' about my pretty laptop... don't get me wrong. It is getting easier the more I use it. I even loaded some music onto the iPod Nano that came with the thing... of course it also helps that I finally took THAT out of the box.


I love technology, really I do. I just wish all the cool shit came out 10 years earlier so I wouldn't be playing catch up now. Of course, there was some stuff out there... I just couldn't afford it then. Hell, I can barely afford it now.

Random Update: friends, family and meat

I thought I would post a random update of what's been going on these last few weeks...especially since no one else seems to be updating. You know who y'all are. *nudge*

Anyway, it's been damn cold outside. Too cold to take photos outdoors if you ask me, so I will have to be content with shooting indoors. I have my first portrait sitting with lights and stuff on Friday and I haven't had a portrait class yet. This could be interesting.

We saw Alexi for the first time since forever last week. He bought a condo and closes on it at the End of February. Can anyone say PARTY?

We also saw Bill, Amanda & Dylan this past weekend. They are all well. Dylan got an air hockey table for Christmas and he is damn good at it. My arms hurt from trying to beat him. I think he has an unfair advantage in being closer in height to the table... that and he is left handed. There must be an advantage to that... it's not my lack of skill AT ALL, right? Yeah.... sure.

Yesterday I spent the day photographing food at school with Sarah and Margie. We decided to do a breakfast theme. Did you know turkey bacon has a lingering, almost nauseating odor that sticks to your clothes? It smells delicious for the first few hours, but then you get home and you are constantly saying to yourself "I smell bacon" then you realize that the odor is eminating from you. After 12 hours of this meaty smell clinging to your nostrils you are quite over it and never want to smell or eat it again. And as a general rule, you NEVER eat the food props on a photo shoot. *shudders* But since we prepared it we felt it was safe to eat.

I am woefully behind on posting photos... I am working on remedying that. HERE is the latest I've posted.

Now to get my ass to work.

Lake Superior State University 2007 List of Banished Words

I particularly like this one:
HEALTHY FOOD -- Point of view is everything.
Someone told Joy Wiltzius of Fort Collins, Colorado, that the tuna steak she had for lunch "sounded healthy." Her reply: "If my lunch were healthy, it would still be swimming somewhere. Grilled and nestled in salad greens, it's 'healthful.'"

Too funny

And now the whole world thinks Bostonians are stupid. Great.

File Under: AWESOME

For about $2000 a king sized version of this can be yours! I want one! Get yours HERE.

Daily Snort

This made me chuckle... Someone made Sir Wilfred Laurier look like Spock!