Roller Derby!

Reporting to you live from Shriners Auditorium in Wilmington , Massachusetts where... Oh, okay, not live, but I have just returned from Roller Derby!

I ran into one of my teachers there this evening and I think he got frustrated and left halfway through the bout. (His initials are T.L. if any of my classmates are reading this)

Evilicious of the Wicked Pissah's took a nasty spill and had to be carted off in an ambulance. Unfortunately I needed to talk to her this evening and didn't get a chance to before her accident. I hope she's alright.

And the grand finale was the woman in the restroom puking while screaming into her cell phone. Pure comedy gold. I can't make this shit up.

I walked in as we were leaving to one last potty stop before driving an hour home and choose a stall. the woman in the stall next to me is talking rather loudly to someone. I look under the stall partition at her shoes so I can identify her later and notice her shoes are pointing the wrong way.

She is slurring her speach and a friend, who I later figured out was Blondie, is standing outside her stall saying "Hang up the phone" and C'mon, let's go" while pausing to turn and fix her hair in the mirror.

I then hear a telltale splat noise that only comes from wet, warm and chunky hitting the surface tension of cold toilet water and more slurred yelling.

"You don't understand..."

*splat*

"Blondie's here... all the blondes are..."

*splat*

"... gonna get raped."

*SPLAT*

"I don't want them to get raped tonight"

*splat*

"You come down here and buy me a drink." (Yeah, 'cause she needs ANOTHER one.)

*splat*

and so on... all the while her friend pops her gum and fusses with her hair. I have no idea what prompted this conversation but I made sure I washed my hands slowly so I could relay this drama to you personally.

You're welcome.




Update on Evilicious: She needed 30 stitches in her face and broke her nose in 4 places. OUCH! Here's wishing her a speedy recovery!