For Hopefully The Last Time, What Is Really Wrong With the Film Industry.

I just read THIS ARTICLE about the new movie The Golden Compass and how it won't be able to save an ailing movie business. I know Ron and I have both ranted about this before and I am surprised the movie big-wigs still haven't figured out what is wrong with their industry. It seems I have to spell it out one more time for these people, in the extremely off chance one of them is reading this.

1.) The movies that are being produced these days generally suck. They suck like a starving vampire at a pep rally.

What was the last movie you saw in a theatre? Did you love it? Where you anxious to run home and blog about it, call your friends, write your mamma and tell the world about it. Unlikely.

When was the last time you saw a trailer and thoght "I MUST SEE THAT!" More than likely you said "look's kinda cool" or shrugged your shoulders and thought, "I can wait for the rental" Or better yet, when was the last time you witnesses a crowd laughing at a trailer and it wasn't a comedy? A film is flying at suck facter 12 when that happens.

2.) The DVD comes out too quickly.
You no longer have to wait a year to see that crappy film for a fraction of the cost of seeing it in the theatre in the comfort of your own home. You can buy it, Netflix it, borrow it from the library or rent it by other means far cheaper than the cost of a night at the movies for the average family. It's a good thing the rental comes out so quickly these days because...

3.) The movies leave the theatre too quickly.
Movies are in the theatre for so short a time that by the time I've heard about it and thought, "hmmm.... I might make the effort to see that, let me check my calendar" the movie is gone. This year alone I have anticipated a few movies... the one about Diane Arbus and Elizabeth: The Golden Age come to mind and thought to myself "when are they gonna come out?" only to find out that they came and went when I wasn't looking.

People are also busy. Often too busy to see a movie opening weekend and by the time they get around to going the movie they want to see is gone. there have been times when a movie has opened and *poof* two weeks later it was gone. Two weeks? Yup. Movies are supposed to be fun and no one wants to feel rushed to get to the theatre before it's too late.

4.) Opening Night Sucks.
If you think the movie you want to see might be any good it is highly likely that others feel the same. Opening night is going to be crowded. Why fight crowds when you can wait for the rental in 4 months? Why eat an early dinner, get in the car, waste the gas, wait in line on the off chance the movie hasn't sold out? Because despite the suck facter, movies do still sell out on opening nights, especially if Harry Potter is involved. Everyone is in a rush to see the stupid thing before it disappears in two weeks. The movie industry may think they are creating a demand by dangling a film in the theatre in front of us for a short time, but they are really just creating apathy about the whole thing.

And crowds SUCK. Who wants to sit next to the teenager checking his text messages? The folks who won't shut up? The creepy guy that has to sit right next you when there are plenty of seats available elsewhere?

Who wants to pay $10 per person plus take out a second mortgage to buy snacks to when you can wait 4-6 months and buy the damn thing for about twenty bucks and watch it in the comfort of your own home over and over again with cheaper, better quality snacks and the only crowds you have to deal with are how many people you want to stuff in your living room?

5.) HDTV, Big-Ass TV's, Home Theatres and Rentals are killing the movie theatre experience.
Everyone wants ot have the biggest, shiniest, most state-of -the-art gizmos for their home. Everyone generally buys the best audio-visual equipment they can afford, and many buy more than they can afford. When you've maxed out your credit line for that big screen mofo you just had to have who can afford to go out to a movie theatre anyway.

Everyone has or knows someone who can create a theatre-like experience in their own home. Hell, if you have a comfy couch, a color TV and some microwave popcorn you are already having a better theatre experience than the average moviegoer. Why go out when you can watch a movie in your jammies with your friends with a grown-up beverage, good snacks and you get to fall asleep on your couch when the movie inevitably sucks?

And people are generally lazy. Okay, okay, People work hard all day long to pay for their toys and deserve to stay home and relax. Why go out to see something when thanks to Netflix the movie will comes to you? I LOVE NETFLIX.

So in conclusion to anyone who may be reading this, the movie going public votes with their behinds and those soft, round assets are not in theatre seats. I know we keep bringing this up every now and then but both love movies. Really, we do. But we care more about the experience as a whole and don't want to piss away our hard earned dollars for a crappy time. Life is short, y'know? I will stop now before I start ranting about the music industry.