Ron learns a new word: Unguent.

unguent - (ung'gwent), n. Any ointment used as a salve.

Why has Ron learned this new word? Because I was lamenting the fact that my ass is on FIRE due to having diarrhea all day long and could now use a "soothing unguent on my bum" to which Ron said, "That isn't a word! You made that up." Alas no, I did not make it up... neither the word unguent nor the fact that my rectum is is rather um... tender.

Why do I tell you people this? Well for one, I have no shame. Second, I wish to warn you all. Last night I ate chinese food from a restaurant in downtown Framingham called Sampan. I want to state here, for the record, that last night I said the words "I have never had a good Sampan experience." This tradition continues.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night hot, sweating and with rather intense stomach cramps. At first I thought it was the liquor I had consumed throughout the evening, but I didn't have enough to have this effect on me. I got up up and staggered to the bathroom fully expecting to puke my guts out and go back to sleep.

I did not orally erupt as I had expected (hoped?) nor did the ass-plosions commence at this time. I drank some water, washed my face, pressed my face against the blessedly cold tile of my bathroom wall for a while then went back to bed.

I do not know if any of my other dinner companions suffered the same fate that I did... I know Ron hasn't. If you have then you have my sympathy. Maybe I got the one undercooked peking ravioli? Maybe I got something with a piece of shrimp in it? Who knows? I just know that I will never eat at this particular restaurant again.

I will write about the fabulous day I had yesterday right on up to the sweating and stomach cramp bit tomorrow.... now I have to take my gurgly guts and burning ass to bed.